The five-year sentence

Freeze, said the man cruising the beat
You get your hands up and spread your feet
Don’t you move an inch, I heard him say
Or you’ll be doing time until the judgement day
And he said, Don’t tell me no lies, give me alibis
Cause if you cross my path, you’ll be doing life

– Nervous Shakedown by AC/DC

Damien Hardwick must be furious.  The 2012 season is two rounds old and Richmond hasn’t improved.  His president Gary March must be worried.  A month ago, March gave Hardwick a two-year contract extension. 

 

‘This two-year contract extension is a reflection of the belief we have in our football program and its capacity to deliver our fans what we all want – finals football,’ March said when announcing the appointment on 15 March.

 

Hardwick has three more years to create his coaching legacy.  Unfortunately, he’s coaching Richmond.  A dignified exit from Punt Road in three years may become Hardwick’s only legacy.

 

His coaching record isn’t great, 14 wins, 31 losses and a draw, but that’s expected at Richmond.  Few of their recent coaches have credible records.

 

Back in 2000, Danny Frawley was appointed coach.  A decorated fullback and long-serving captain at St Kilda, Frawley played without flair or speed.  Solid and dependable, he didn’t tolerate nonsense or weakness.

 

A five-year contract allowed Frawley time to develop a game plan and a list.  The plan seemed to be working when Richmond finished fourth in 2001.  No one was surprised when they lost to Essendon by 70-points in the first qualifying final. 

 

A week later, Richmond defeated Carlton by 11-points in the first semi final.  It was a big upset.  The inevitable happened in the preliminary final against Brisbane, a 68-point loss. 

 

Richmond hasn’t played a final since.  Three years later they finished last.  On 6 August 2005, Frawley announced his intention to quit at season’s end.  During the press conference he said the new coach was going to have a good time.

 

‘I think our list is very strong,’ Frawley said.  He was wrong. 

 

Frawley saw out his contract.  It was a dignified exit.  Years later, Frawley said he should’ve quit mid-season.  There was too much pressure, and what he did was going to be irrelevant.

 

His successor, Terry Wallace, received the same five-year guarantee.  Wallace was an unfashionable centre-man who played in three premierships with Hawthorn.  As a coach, Wallace transformed the Western Bulldogs, leading them to consecutive preliminary finals in 1997-98.

 

At Richmond, Wallace performed worse than Frawley.  The five-year plan ended up being a waste of time.  The Tigers didn’t play in the finals.  Wallace quit midway through his final year.

 

Damien Hardwick, in 2010, became the latest sucker intent on ruining his legacy at Richmond.  Hardwick has pedigree, as did Wallace and Frawley.  A two-time premiership player at Essendon and Port Adelaide, Hardwick played uncompromising football, hard at the ball and the man.

 

Like his immediate predecessors, Hardwick will have five years to develop a game plan and a list capable of playing finals football.  Two rounds into the season, Hardwick must be asking why he chose Richmond.  The five-year contract must now feel like a five-year sentence. 

 

The Tigers haven’t played finals since 2001.  They’ve won 95 games since 2000, an average of less than nine a year.  Why anyone would want to coach Richmond remains a mystery.  It must be deflating getting drafted. 

 

Somehow the club has held onto its supporters.

 

Of course, it wasn’t always this bad.  Before the dark times, Richmond was a VFL powerhouse in the sixties and seventies.  Tom Hafey coached them to four premierships.  In 1980, Tony Jewell coached another flag.

 

In 1982, Richmond finished on top.  They defeated Carlton in the second semi final by 23-points.  The premiership, it seemed, was theirs.

 

Two weeks later, Carlton kicked the first three goals of the grand final.  Midway through the second term Richmond had rebounded and lead by five goals.  The half time margin was 11-points.  The third term was calamity, five goals conceded and a 17-point deficit.

 

Carlton won by three goals.  Imagine how different the game would’ve been had Richmond not given up the first three goals.

 

It’s been 32-years since their last premiership.  No one is predicting another anytime soon. The club has never recovered from the 1982 grand final loss.  It may never recover.

 

The following table is a list of tactics the Tigers seem to adhere to.  If you don’t believe me, watch Richmond play Melbourne at the weekend.

 

–          Kick to disadvantage

–          Don’t hit leading forwards on the chest

–          Forwards play from behind

–          Tall forwards to stay immobile

–          Turnovers in midfield

–          Use hurried, dribbled handballs under pressure

–          Drop off in defence

–          Don’t pick up your man in the midfield

–          Play from behind all over the ground

–          Miss targets when under no pressure

–          Kick out on the full when close to the boundary line

–          Don’t be creative

–          No pressure, no awareness

–          Fumble at all times

–          Hold the ball under pressure until tackled

–          Go back into traffic

–          Take the second option at all times

–          Drop marks

–          Stage late revival to give the fans some hope

 

Only the inner sanctum at Richmond is privy to the game plan, but you don’t need to be an official to understand how they play.

 

In the opening two rounds Richmond has played with abandon.  All they’ve learnt has been abandoned.  Too often a player in the clear will miss a simple target, by hand or foot.  Under pressure they’re worse.

 

Jack Riewoldt plays from behind.  He doesn’t have the tank his cousin does.  He can’t split a pack like Wayne Carey.  Riewoldt plays inside fifty like Darren Jarman did, deft touches, subtle nudges and infuriating, languid second efforts.

 

It’s hard to see what’s happening up field on television, but it must be shattering when a mid-fielder is streaming into goal and the forwards are behind their opponents.

 

Can anyone name Richmond’s stars?  Would anyone want Jack Riewoldt at their club?

 

Richmond keeps setting the benchmark for mediocrity, yet for some strange reason the club invokes hope.  There’s no reason for that hope.  The club continually fluffs its draft selections.  The coaches they appoint can’t coach.

 

It must be infuriating for their fans.  The misery is perpetual.  Some neutral fans can’t stand it.

 

Hardwick must feel burdened by his contract extension.  The guarantee must seem one of failure…

 

 

 

 

16
15	Stevo (8), James F (8)
14	Anne (8), Russ (8), Dave (8), George (8)
13	Wayne (8), Sandra (8), Adam L (9), Paul (7), James T (7)
12	Matt (7), Andy (8), Matt B (6), Dallas (7), The Pole (7), Donna (7)
11	Eric (7)
10	Jim (7)
8	Nemo (2)

 

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