Okay, so everyone is saying the game is stuffed worse than ever. It resembles rugby or soccer or netball. Footballers are playing like crabs, kicking the ball backwards and sideways. It’s keeping off. The possession game is dull.
Match scores haven’t been this low since 1968.
Crowds are down. No one will ever kick 100 goals again in a season. A pack mark is the new screamer, and no one is taking screamers. 30 possessions is the new 20, an average game.
We are getting bored. It is the coaches fault. It seems unbelievable, but they want to win premierships instead of entertain.
It is Sun Tzu’s fault for writing the Art of War, and Mick Malthouse’s fault for interpreting it. It is Rodney Eade’s fault for implementing the flood, Denis Pagan’s fault for inventing the paddock, Alistair Clarkson’s fault for creating zones, Malthouse’s fault for the box-press and Lyon’s fault for the zombie maul.
The coaches are strangling the game and they don’t care.
The only way to fix the scoring drought it by tinkering with the rules so put your blinkers on.
Capping rotations is what we wanted, but it has made things worse. The laws of the game committee recommended 80. But the AFL Commission isn’t the federal government and they don’t automatically adopt taxing recommendations. The commission set the limit at 120.
Kevin Bartlett quit the laws committee in disgust. Let’s put a cap on the commission and reduce rotations to 80, which is what everyone wanted. The sub rule, which no one wanted, hasn’t improved scoring and it should be scrapped.
How about widening the goals from 6.4 metres to ten? Travis Cloke is sure to kick more accurately with goals that wide. And an expansive gap will be alluring. Teams will attack that open space.
Blinkers working?
There are too many players on the ground. Reducing the number of players to 16 will increase the available space. Decreasing the length of each quarter to fifteen minutes will prevent players getting tired.
Two players from each team must remain inside the 50m arc at all times to further reduce the amount of congestion. Those players need to wear a bib or a bra so everyone knows who they are.
How are those blinkers going?
Pay a 15 meter advantage for a player taking a contested mark. That will encourage pack marks and kill the keepings off game.
Only four players from each team are allowed in the centre square at the start of the game, start of each quarter or following a goal, until the ball comes out. That includes a secondary bounce.
Any backwards kick is play on, except in forward fifty. Teams are banned from kicking the ball back into defensive 50. Three backwards or sideways kicks in a row is a free kick.
Reduce the number of games played to 17, so the hated draw isn’t compromised. Forget all rational logic that suggests the draw has always been compromised long before expansion.
By now I figure those blinkers are doing their job.
If pre-season training started in January, players wouldn’t be as fit. They would be encouraged to eat pizza and drink beer. Clubs cannot employ dieticians or scientists.
To penalise the players from accumulating meaningless possessions and Brownlow votes, only possessions that go forward are counted.
Let’s not forget the bonus point for a club kicking 100 points, which has received recent media. Bonus points are great. They should also be awarded to teams who run onto the ground first and clubs that get more spectators to the game.
How about giving clubs a bonus point if they kick five goals in a quarter? Or a bonus point for winning four games in a row?
What about a power-play, where one team has to send two players off for ten minutes? The power-play can be enforced at any time of the game. That would be a huge inducement to attack.
What about a million dollar prize for kicking 100 goals in a season?
Now, those blinkers can get narrower if you like. It’s a simple adjustment, and we have more work to do.
After a behind, the ball must be kicked beyond fifty. That way, virtually every kick would go to a contest. It would also reduce deliberate behinds.
The legal distance for a kick increases from 15 metres to 25. Short kicks will become passé and the possession game will die.
And finally, how about forcing the players to wear blinkers? The blinkers are working for us, why not the players? Blinkers will stop them from seeing backwards. They will be forced to kick forward.
Now, let’s take those blinkers off. Can you see in all directions? Take a look at the game.
In recent history, Geelong, Hawthorn and Collingwood have won premierships by playing attacking footy. Have flair so flaunt it.
Only Sydney, in 2005, has won a premiership through sheer defence. There has always been ordinary games. Coaches have always pushed the rules. The game is always evolving.
So let’s leave the blinkers off and let the coaches sort it out. No matter how the rules change, they will coach to win, whatever it takes, however it happens.
